Attitude Adjustment.

While I was meditating in my yoga class, I realized something. I am quite sour at this point in my life. 

I have been in a mood, lately. I don't know why. I have absolutely nothing to be frustrated about. Life is moving along swimmingly, aside from impending sickness. I have nothing to complain about, but my irritability is through the roof.

It's time for a attitude adjustment. Sometimes it's good to take a moment and reflect on your blessings, or luck, if you like that term better.

I am fed, clothed and sheltered.

I am loved.

I am healthy.

I am learning.

I have a partnership with a man who adores me.

I have loving family.

I have great friends.

I am moving toward something.

Maybe it's the changing of the seasons. Maybe it's the bit of fear I have about my education as it progresses. A saying comes to mind...

I believe it is really a challenge to live in the present. I constantly find myself reflecting on things for too long, punishing myself for saying or doing the "wrong" thing. Of course I believe in learning from mistakes and I never intend to hurt another soul, but is there really a right and wrong? Or is it more of a, learned or not learned? For instance, I said something to a dear friend the other day, that wasn't intended to be cruel, nor was it a false statement, but it hurt her. I have been dwelling on this for 3 days.  I have already apologized and have learned that I need to continue grooming the way I present my thoughts, or whether or not they need to be presented at all, yet I continue to punish myself. 

If I was living in the present, I would accept my mistake, acknowledge that I've done all I can to remedy it and forget about it. My love for this person is completely intact and there is nothing I can do about the past. But today! I woke up early and put together a bountiful healthy lunch, I lifted weights for 30 minutes and practiced yoga. I made it to my classes on time. I get to spend the next 3 hours producing art, and afterward, I get to go home to a man that loves me, a puppy that's missed me and maybe even some friends. I am a blessed woman. 

Whatever happens tomorrow isn't my concern.

I know I am strong.

I am bright.

I am affluent.

I am effective.

I am loving.

I am kind.

I am thoughtful.

What could really get in my way? 

Cranky For No Reason

Returning to college is one of the best decisions I've ever made. Which is probably easy to say, just because I've made a lot of bad decisions.

Going back to school, when you've passed the young, flighty and unreasonable season of life, leaves you with nothing but determination and focus. In general, I don't view my classes as a bore. I learn and retain information better than I ever have before.

But, I still don't know exactly what I want to be when I grow up.

Last night, when I got home from school, I came home to a clean kitchen, flowers on the counter and an invitation to dinner with E. He took me out for Korean BBQ and we ordered 3x the amount of food we needed. Fairly guilt free, as it's mostly meat and veggies... I also just had some leftovers for breakfast.

Dating E was also one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I don't have a lot to say, other than math is really hard and that I'm hoping this term doesn't kill me. As I was inspecting the requirements for an undergrad in psych, I discovered the need for additional math classes (statistics), once I leave the community college world. I find this necessary and disheartening at the same time.

Honestly guys, I think I'm getting sick. I think I have some awful flu around the bend. I am sleepy, but also restless. I have an achy body, sore throat, green snot, a headache and no desire to do anything. I failed to get up early and work out before school yesterday, but I must do it tomorrow. I need to enforce positive patterns. I ate too much pizza over the weekend, I haven't been drinking enough water. I haven't had a work out since I helped my sister move on Saturday.

I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm bloated. I am a danger to myself. These are the kind of days that lead to me gaining 5 lbs. These are the kind of days that I hate, but they are also the days that I need to put on my work out gear, run the errands, work out and get a good nights sleep. These days, when I don't care, are the days that define whether or not I'm really committed to being healthy.

Frankly, I'm dragging my feet, but I'm still moving. Better get on it while I'm feeling somewhat inspired.

Let's hope for something valuable, interesting and happy to blog about tomorrow!

The Painting

I missed my blog yesterday, I hope no one was counting on me for dinner recipes! I've posted my pulled pork and apple cabbage slaw for you in recipes if you're interested.

Yesterday I had an adventure with my friend Amy and her husband. Wednesday evening we decided we wanted to hike in the morning. I was at their place by 9:05 am and we were on our way to a 7.5 mile, 2100 ft climb. The hike is of Hamilton Mountain, and I recommend it. It is listed at a moderate level of difficulty, I would agree with that. It is not necessarily a walk in the park (hence the word hike).
We climbed pretty steadily for about 2 hours. So, take a couple rests if you need them, about a mile in there are these gorgeous waterfalls and pools. We kept on trucking mostly, by the time we reached the peak, I was pretty much done walking at an incline... for a while. It was a successful day. I'm still tired.. and hungry, it seems! We hit the trail around 10:10a, peaked at 12:15p and made it to the car by 2p.

I've been thinking about posting about that painting I've been working on and I'm struggling a little bit with the words.This is the first time that I have taken a long journey with one of my works... I think it has been helping me develop, as an artist and as a person. You see, it's a self portrait.

There was a point in my weight loss where I was really struggling with my idea of my body. If you've ever gone through the process, you know there are plenty of times where you just have no concept of what you actually look like from the outside. What should matter is how you feel, but sometimes you think you look like the same person you were 30 lbs ago.

So I made it my mission to overcome this. I wanted look at my body subjectively (like I do all models for figure painting), paint it realistically and not only love it, but find beauty in it.

This has proven to be difficult. I had some photos taken.

First wrong move: weed through them and find the one where I look thinnest.

It's in some awkward reclined position, but at the time, I couldn't bear to look at myself any other way. The painting only got more difficult from here. I found that I was just naturally changing my shape to be something it wasn't; thinning out the arms, whittling the waist, reducing the thighs... until it or I  didn't even look human. Then I left it there. On my bedroom wall, I looked at it every day, frustrated. Wondering what I could do to make it better, how I could fix it, whether or not it could be fixed. For about 9 months it has hung, untouched.

This kind of reminds me of my weight struggle. Of my plateaus. Of my lacking self esteem.

I picked up working on this painting again about a week ago. I sat down at just inspected the photos of myself. I looked at my painting and myself and began to see it for what it is. As the painting evolved, the legs got shorter, the breast got smaller, the middle wasn't quite so svelte, but the painting is becoming much better. The truth of it is, we have certain wants in life and for our bodies, but they don't always go together so well. It's all a game of acceptance and embracing. The beautiful woman is one who doesn't cry out for attention, because her self worth comes from within. She has embraced her circumstances and her body but is not without the capacity to grow. She doesn't obsess about her make up, clothes, or sex appeal... she just is. This simple act of just being, frees her up to love and be loved.

I know that's all very zen of me and you might be thinking: "Is she high?", but no, I just really want to be more like that woman. This painting is helping me get there. It's far from finished and so am I.

That's about all I have to say about that.

Modern House... girlfriend.

I try not to whine, but didn't I clean the kitchen today already? Twice?

MY GOD. I don't even have a kid, but I feel like all I do is clean. Wonder how that's going to change when the spawn arrives... Maybe I will be crazy erratic mom, who cleans up every little thing. More likely I will be smitten mom who forgets what a clean house looks like.

I hate to say it, because I know I will regret it, but I am so sick of staying at home and doing nothing but keeping the house and cooking. I would like a solid excuse to not make dinner and another one for why laundry has piled up, because right now, I don't have one and I am booooooooored of cooking, dishes and laundry. Not built to be a housewife, perhaps?

I did some painting the other day, just to mix it up. Then I ran out of an essential hue of paint, a non mixable one, called white. Still haven't made it to the art store.

My day of nothingness, was pretty on point. I did wash the bedding, do some laundry, vacuum, dust and sweep, but I finished 12 episodes of "Devious Maids" so.... embarrassing. I have enjoyed my vacation, but I need to go to a place where I can have snacks every 30 minutes and my brain is stimulated by something worthwhile and I have a reason to get out of bed before 9. Spoiled-brat-1st-world-problems. Forgive me.

Today on the agenda: Force myself to do something active. Eat less carbs than yesterday. Maybe see another human being in real life?

3 hours later...

I have accomplished my "something active." I did about 4.15 miles, the hard way. I have a loop that I do every so often, in one direction it has a tiny but steady downgrade with one 250 ft climb at the end. The hard way warms you up with a downgrade, then has a tiny but steady upgrade the whole route, and one 150 ft climb.

I would be lying to you if I said that I didn't walk a lot of it. I finished in about 47 minutes.

So far I have eaten less carbs. I had one egg and one piece of DKB toast for pre run fuel. Then I enjoyed some spoils from my sister's garden including some spicy pickled green beans. They are so yum but, they're making me sweat!

Also, last night E and I had an at home date. On said date, we covered various things in dark chocolate. That's normal and perfectly healthy, right?

Frozen bananas, raisins and grahams

I put some pork shoulder in the crock pot today.

I thought I might talk about this painting I've been working on, but I think I will do that tomorrow.

Stay tuned.

Happy Birthday, John Ritter.

TODAY I AM TIRED.

For no particular reason.

I intend to spend the day doing absolutely nothing.

Except diving into a riveting Lifetime series called "Devious Maids" while sporting my sexiest outfit (if you have a furry fetish), my infamous leopard print footie pajamas. Send your judgement my way, I'm far to sleepy and cozy to care.

I don't even really have anything to say. I'm sure you gathered that from yesterday's blog.

Have a good day.

Autumn

I got out of bed in a hurry (only because yesterday I did absolutely nothing) and put on my shorts and my awesome tee from the Emerald City Cat Fight and stepped outside with pup to get his weekly bath taken care of. I suddenly became very aware that it is Autumn. Well, technically, we're about a week early, but today, it was certainly Autumn. This was my "Hello, Fall" outfit. Excuse my face, the 24 Hour Fitness locker room and my inability to take a quality photo with an iPhone 3.

E had a long day prior, so when I sprung out of bed at 8 am, I quietly shut the door behind me and took care of some business. Business being laundry, dishes and dog walking. These things are my business. After I was finished with the business, I headed to the gym. I have decided (on a whim) that I really want to accomplish doing 10 pull ups. This is a huge number and effort for me. I have done 3 in a row, once. So any more than 3 will be an accomplishment that I'm proud of, but I am going to be doing my best to train up to 10 in the next 3 months. This might be hefty, because I doubt I can even do one in my current state.

After gym time, which included 35 minutes in the weight room, including my 35 push ups, some ab work and 45 minutes of high intensity cardio, I headed down to my sister, Erin's house, to raid her chicken coop and garden. I am quite pleased with my haul. I'm super into jalapeños right now. Even though too much of them cause some uncomfortable burning.... if you know what I mean. She helped me find a couple of big ripe tomatoes, a ton of jalapeños, some sweet yellow cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans and bell peppers. It's great having a place t go to pick fresh produce since it's not practical for E and I. I just wish they didn't live 30 minutes away!

Then I proceeded to renew my Costco Membership, do some grocery shopping and come home to get in full fledged Fall fashion. I picked apples from our tree, peeled, cored, cut and froze half. Then I made an apple pie, all the while simmering a big pot of chicken and brown rice soup. E and I enjoyed it, the pie is cooling and we are watching the Steelers/Bengals game. I wasn't quite ready for this season, but I do love it. I love to bake, go to the pumpkin patch, make different soups, dress up for Halloween and wear boots... but I wasn't ready to say goodbye to the boat and the sun yet!!!

Funny tid bit, my friend Lance is so sweet and thoughtful, he baked E and I an apple pie and delivered it just as I pulled mine out of the oven. Too in sync. In complete honesty, his apple pie kicked mine to the curb.

Astoria, Kim K and Mountains of Salt Water Taffy

Today is a day that I just don't feel like it. I made the mistake of waiting to work out today and now I'm terribly sleepy, all I want to do is nap.

E took me to the coast this weekend and spoiled me with a beautiful dinner right on the harbor in Astoria. I had every intention of taking photos, then I didn't, so here you go:

On the way home we stopped through Seaside and hit the Candyman's Salt Water Taffy outlet and bought about 25 lbs of salt water taffy. Then we got home, crawled into bed and ate about 10 pieces each. The worst part? I don't even really like it. What is my problem?

I was just enjoying lounging about with him and didn't pay attention and whoops! Sugar coma. I tried to get a little nutrition in yesterday, with a leftover homemade Mediterrenean turkey patty, some strawberries and raw vegetables, but went ahead and finished myself off with about 4 servings of TJ's reduced guilt pita chips, a mountain of wasabi peas and a bowl of Biyrani rice. Ugh. What's done is done, but man, embarrassing. I know I can do better. I just did it for 10 days!

Last night my sister came over and I did her hair, she wanted a big change, and a big change she got! It was a little bit of a drawn out process, but we finally got to a place where she was happy.

She's just so cool and hot at the same time I can't handle it.

Also, last night I dreamt that I was Kim Kardashian's BFF and Courtney threw my laptop in the pool as a prank (you know how they're all about pranks) and I was super pissed (this was all being filmed of course) and by the end of it Kim was crying and bought me a brand new Macbook Pro and an iPhone 5S, which, by the way, ARE EFFING CRAZY! Fingerprinting technology? No thanks, I'll go for the 5C. I will break that shit so fast. That or I will crash my car while trying to "open" my phone for someone who's sitting in the back seat, so they can look something up on GPS. 

My life is very important.

School countdown, 10 days.

Another Monday

(Sunday, September 8th....)

It's kind of challenging figuring out what kind of eater you're going to be once you've cleaned the slate. Really, it's been terribly frustrating. Call me a whiner and yes, these are definitely first world problems, but I am struggling with this.

It's hard to keep from gulping down coffee every morning and having pizza for dinner (and breakfast). So far I have enjoyed a breakfast sandwich from a great spot called Bing's in Seattle, that involved 2 eggs, 3 slices of bacon, cheddar cheese and a side of home fries. I did my best and left as much of the bread as I could and hardly touched the potatoes, but I didn't want to do it at all. Last night E's sister-in-law made this delicious pasta with a chicken, bacon, mushroom and artichoke heart cream sauce, you bet your ass I mowed that down. I finished the evening off with 1/2 a chocolate cupcake and a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I can feel my gut expanding by the minute. 

I stood in the snack isle contemplating some sort of salty snack. After I agonized for a while, I decided against it. I grabbed a bottle of water and sullenly left the isle. E laughed. I was so frustrated I could cry.  I simply said "You should understand the conversation I have in my head before you laugh at me. It's unbelievably disheartening that I stand you and think to myself, 'I can have a snack or I can have lunch.'" I know the reality of this is healthy snacking, which I'm happy to do, but it sucks that when you're hoping to lose weight and you've had 2 small pancakes for breakfast, you have to make careful choices throughout the day. 

I get why people just decide not to care. I understand the desire to ignore nutritional labels and on occasion, I do. Some people might consider this to be an unhealthy obsession and truly, sometimes it is. Being a recovering bulimic, that is 20 lbs overweight seems impossible. Being addicted to food is an ultimate pain in the ass. Shifting one's thinking from food making you feel good to food keeping your body nourished, seems impossible. So what's the answer? Hypnosis? Therapy? Diligence? 

Still trying to figure it out.

We have been in Seattle, WA, because E is battling in the "Emerald City Cat Fight," which is the North American Gay Volleyball Association's big Seattle tournament. I am currently surrounded by 100s of athletic, attractive, sweaty men. Only a handful of them are interested in my flavor (E specifically), but I'm sure all of my twinkling stars would be in heaven. The gays and I get along pretty well, so I'm not having such a horrible time. 

However, one can only watch so much volleyball and I'm hungry. We've been at the gym since 8:30 this morning, it's 3:10pm and there is currently no end in sight.

Being here, has been a bit of an eye opening experience for me. I love my man. I really do, but I think I sacrifice too much. He and I have been on all of one trip together where he isn't playing volleyball all day long. He doesn't like to travel much, so when he does, he goes to compete. I love that he's athletic. It inspires me to stay on my course, but I don't really have a "thing." I thought running might be it, but I'm not so sure. Maybe I need to try some sports and see if anything suits my fancy. I told him maybe I should join a choir so he could come watch concerts every weekend. :)

I think I might dabble in some sports. It's a little hard to start doing something that I've never done before, as you've learned from previous posts, but maybe it's time to just get over it. Anyone want to start a kickball team?

(Monday, September 9th...)

I have just returned from a 4.15 mile run. I made the mistake of finishing the run with a giant hill. So that's about when the run became a walk. My heart was definitely pumping, so I think I was burning plenty of calories. I reeeeeeeeeeallly miss my running app and heart rate monitor. It seems funny to miss those things, but I really do. I am in desperate need of current technology.

Anywho. It's good to be home. It's time to hide the scale and try to start living my life healthfully. School starts in 2 weeks and thankfully we have some gorgeous weather ahead of us this week.

I hope you are well.

Now what?

Post cleanse weight:

154.8

I kind of did a 9 day cleanse...

• 1st meal: chicken, beans, rice
• 2nd meal: Banana, T PB
• 3rd meal: egg salad lettuce wraps
• 4th meal: glass of wine, butternut squash soup, salad, 3 saltines
• 5th meal: 3 vodka sodas
• 6th meal: glass of wine and around midnight, shared some homemade blue corn chip, and chicken nachos

That was a very lushy evening, but it was a good one. E and I went over to his parent's for dinner. They are moving out of their current home (the one E grew up in) so they have been going through everything and getting rid of stuff they don't care to move. I have managed a couple of awesome finds.

Is this not the cutest steamer pot you've ever seen???

After dinner we met of with friends at a bar, which felt weird. We used to be out and about quite often, but these days, 'round 9pm you can find us in bed watching a movie with Max and Lígo. It was nice to be out. After not having vodka for almost 3 weeks, it tasted really sweet. I kept thinking that she made my drink with tonic, but no. I had just forgotten what liquor tasted like. As you can see from my diary above, that didn't stop me from having 2 more. 

So, hypothetically, I am 10 lbs from my goal weight. That is, if I can keep off what was lost during the cleanse. I thought about joining one of those diet bets to see if that would inspire me, but that's really not much incentive for me. If you don't know what that link is, click it! Lazy! No, I'll tell you. I'm sure you and/or you mom have done something similar, when a group of people put into money into a pot and then whoever loses the most weight wins the money. Dietbetter is a little different. First of all, this is a website that gets a lot of attention, so hundreds and sometimes thousands, of people put into the pot. Someone starts a game and if you want to join one, you put money in the pot. It's a 4 week challenge, and the goal is to lose 4% of your body weight. I would have to lose 6.2lbs in a month. E just said he'll give me $50 when I lose it. Sounds good to me!

Today I have been pretty well behaved. I was thrilled to have a piece of toast and 2 slices of bacon for breakfast, but the real dime piece of the day was the "less-guilt" mac'n'cheese from TJs. It did not disappoint. I got a pretty good home work out in, that included 60 weighted squats, 70 second plank, 70 second superman, 35 push ups and then I did about 30 flights of stairs. I didn't stretch and at the moment, my hips are giving me hell.

latest snack

Also, how is it that bananas and peanut butter is best thing ever?

Cleanse Day 10

The final day.

I would never lie to you folks, but I have been avoiding blogging today, because I willingly drank wine last night. I thought about blaming Niki for peer pressuring me, but in reality, I wanted to. I haven't seen her in like a month or something and we have a long standing ritual of sitting on the porch and drinking wine. So. Judge me if you must. I'm already over it.

I have continued eating clean though!

Cleanse Day 9

155.8

• 1st meal: leftover steak and one fried egg
• 2nd meal: wasabi seaweed, fresh veggies and hummus, concord grapes
• 3rd meal: 1/2 serving almonds
• 4th meal: wine
• 5th meal: wine
• 6th meal: grilled chicken breast, black beans and whole grain spanish rice with zucchini, onion, garlic, tomato, green onion, cumin and oregano
• 7th meal: wine

Before the wine drinking, Niki and I went to the mall with Amy. I picked up a few essentials and found a beautiful and affordable winter coat. I also found a puffy vest which would be perfect for winter running and just being cute/snow bunny esque. I held off on them though. It's hard to be financially responsible. I just don't have the money for those things right now and I don't need them yet either. So they will have to wait. 

While Niki and I drank our wine, we decided to Skype with Jacob. It's been over a month since we've been face to face. It was really good to hang out. I don't know what I would do without Skype! We talked for something like 2.5 hours. 

I made dinner for E and I and we sat on the porch by the chimnea playing scrabble on his phone. We are old and boring, but I love it and him so much and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm starting to seriously consider my Halloween costumes and plans. Since I intend to be clad in verrrra tight fitting garb, I've got some work to do. Screw summer bodies, how about Halloween bodies?!

Cleanse Day 10

155.4

• 1st meal: 2 oz leftover grilled chicken, 1/3 c rice and beans
• 2nd meal: banana and peanut butter
• 3rd meal: ...

I will weigh in tomorrow, but I'm not anticipating much change. It's been great having your support and accountability. I feel that this cleanse has been a great success and I am excited for the next couple of months. My goals are starting to feel a lot more realistic than they ever have.

Now, I'm hungry.

Cleanse Day 9

Hello friends and readers and friends.

As you can see, I did a little re-designing. I am NO web design genius. I dated someone who was once, but we're not exactly friendly. Oh yeah and my favorite New Zealander is, but we can't even manage a Skype session, let alone design my blog... Anyway, I hope you like it. I have been just messing around and watching tutorials and such. I was sick of the standard layout and Aunt Lisa, you're right. I need a place for recipes. For the time being those page links are mostly empty, but over time I will be filling them up. 

After I left you yesterday, I did indeed go pump some iron. I lifted for about 40 minutes, including my 35 boy push ups and 70 second plank. I also added in a 70 second "super man" to strengthen my lower back. Pretty soon I need to bump it up to 40 push ups and 80 second planks... I'm trying to get E involved before it goes too far. Should I add squats in too? Probably. After lifting, I ran a quick mile and hopped on the elliptical for an additional 20 minutes.

that face. awesome.

I've started wearing my converse in the weight room. I want to get a pair of cross-trainers, but until I have the money, these will do. For those of you who buy expensive running shoes:

Please don't waste the limited amount of miles you get out of them.

Bring 2 pairs of shoes to the gym.

1 pair for running and 1 pair for everything else.

I've learned this lesson the hard way. I've burned through 3 pairs of Brooks, waaaay too fast. It ain't cheap. $110-130 per pair and I wasted them in places like the grocery store and weight room where I could wear $2 shoes if I wanted.

Cleanse day 8

155.4

• 1st meal: Fiber drink and pro biotic
• 2nd meal: 2 fried eggs (no oil)
• 3rd meal: 1/2 banana and a nectarine
• 4th meal: Wasabi seaweed snacks, concord grapes
• 5th meal: curried tuna salad lettuce wraps
• 6th meal: filet mingon and grilled jalapeños, zucchini and mushrooms
• 7th meal: little teeny tiny cheaty piece of dark chocolate

The lettuce wraps were tasty, it's the same recipe I have posted before, and I will add it to my recipes page as soon as I figure out how.

 

Then for dinner we kept it simple. E requested steak, or I might have had something a little healthier.

dinner for 2

I minced some garlic and threw it in with some olive oil, lemon juice, fresh thyme and S&P to brush on the vegetables. 

Cleanse day 9

155.8

No meals yet... I was hesitant to weigh, because my morning ritual isn't complete yet, if you know what I mean. So this also why I haven't eaten yet. I did take my probiotic and as soon as I'm done with this post I'm headed in for my fiber drink and breakfast. I really didn't eat enough veggies yesterday, so that may be precisely why I'm in my current predicament. Any way. 

As excited as I am for the cleanse to be over. I'm even more excited that I am so close to my goal weight. I need to keep that perspective, because I don't want to regain what I've lost, I want to continue losing. So the clean eating has to stick around. I have been toying with the idea lately of a throw away day. Do you know what I mean? 1 day a week, where I just allow whatever. Keep a list during the week of things that I'm craving and then on that one day a week, just go ham. I've heard of a lot of people having tremendous success with this. I'm going to keep thinking on it.

Tomorrow is my concluding day. It couldn't come sooner. 

Here's some photos of me opening a pickle jar. It was really hard.

Cleanse days 6, 7 & 8

Recap:

Cleanse day 6

156.4

• 1st meal: pro biotic, nectarine boiled egg
• 2nd meal: BIG CHEAT iced decaf grande americano with soy milk
• 3rd meal: thai basil stir fry with, bok choy, mushroom, ground chicken, bell peppers and black rice
• 4th meal: "   " x2
• 5th meal: banana "ice cream"

I wanted coffee. Get over it.

Also, I'm sure that the food from Sweet Basil, although delicious, wasn't completely cleanse approved. I did my very best to find something on the menu that was light and full of vegetables. I don't feel badly about eating what I did and it was nice to not prepare my food for a meal (or two). The only issue was that there was SO much food. I had 2 meals worth and E had 1 meal.

It was a nice Saturday. I went and picked up my cabin feverish friend, Lance and we went to watch E play volleyball, picked up Thai food on the way home and had some lovely chats while watching "Monster In-Law." There's some good laughs in that one. Then E and I stayed in Saturday evening. I did forget to take my "Herbal Cleanse" in the evening though, cleanse fail.

Gotta be honest folks, it's not so hard anymore. Yesterday (Sunday) I met a friend at a bar because she was in need of a drink. I ordered a club soda with a lime. I also stopped at a convenience store on the way and picked up some coconut water and cashews, just in case there was an order of tots on the table, or the soda water didn't cut the craving for a drink.

But you know, it wasn't as difficult as anticipated.

After meeting up with Jess for a drink I headed down to Canbyland for a little BBQ at my sister's. I had grilled chicken, grilled zucchini and onions, quinoa garden salad and some thai peanut coleslaw. I also had a LOT of pineapple. I'm not really supposed to have fruit that's so high on the glycemic index, but I skipped the bbq sauce, corn and the delicious blackberry crisp with chantilly cream... and one of my favorite red blends. I don't feel badly about eating loads of pineapple. Why should I?

I got sleepy and didn't stay very late.

Cleanse day 7

I didn't weigh... I also didn't watch what I ate well, but there were no cheats, other than the pineapple, and I believe I was well within my caloric restrictions.

Cleanse day 8

155.4

•  1st meal: fiber drink, 2 fried eggs (no oil)
• 2nd meal: 1/2 banana
• 3rd meal: ?

I am a little bothered that eating clean hasn't cut out my headaches. I was really hoping that I would be able to kick them by cleaning up my diet. I woke up with one today and am feeling very tired. I had plenty of sleep and should be feeling good. I took some ibuprofen and have been hydrating, but I've gotta hit the gym today, so hopefully getting moving will at least take my mind off of it.

I have noticed that my skin is better though! Maybe being without dairy is doing something there. I want to try to maintain these eating habits for the most part. I will reintroduce some items, but I would like for dairy and wheat to be eaten sparingly. I'm afraid I'll have a bite of something cheesy and just go crazy and eat all the cheese. I hope not. I know not. But I do miss it.

Anyway, off to the gym with me. We're in the home stretch! Yay!