10k began today

A couple of things have been a real pain in the ass around my house the last few days. 1st off, our main drain pipe is clogged (has been since Thursday). This = no dishes, no laundry. This might have been manageable if I hadn't just stripped all of the beds, made a meal for 4 people (including dessert) and put off laundry until I was 4 loads behind. We've done some dishes outside, but we have been sleeping on an old flat sheet with no pillow cases for the last 4 nights. We really need a second pair of sheets. King sized beds are so expensive! The plumber is finally coming today, but we had hoped to take the boat out since it's going to be über hot today. Oh well. Second, my service engine light is on AGAIN. So I took my car in this morning to be fixed. Wouldn't be quite as annoying if I didn't have a mid week trip planned to spend time with Eugene beauties Niki, Marisa and Michelle from Shape Up or Ship Out. Lígo had shots today. Not a big deal. Feeling low on energy, sunburnt from 2 days out on the boat, not awesome, but live able. Bitching done. For now...

It better news, we finished the pool table! Our cool (in a temperature way) basement den is now complete! It's only taken a year.

As you can see from the title, today marks the beginning of training for the 10k. So much for my summer work out schedule, don't judge me. Gal pals (you love it, Michelle) Amy and Michelle are in it to win it and this is our training plan.

Since we're going it in just 6 weeks, the schedule is going to be rough. I'm hoping to run the whole thing, but I don't think I've ever run over 5 miles without stopping. So. I really have no business doing a 10k. I am doing it though. Even if it's slow and I have to walk the whole thing. It's called the Dahlia Run and it's in Canby, OR. If you're local and interested you should check out that link. They are hosting a 10k and a half marathon, and it really is a scenic track. Join us!

Map of our run

I have had some really incredible conversations with some really incredible women over the last few days that I want to share with you, but I haven't quite figured out how I want to articulate them. My thoughts a revolving around issues with addiction and eating disorders, social taboos and the human experience. I've also done a great deal of thinking about self worth, relationships and what we as women deserve in relationships (based upon self worth).

Think about this: why is it so much more socially acceptable to talk openly about drug or alcohol addiction than it is to talk about eating disorders?

Is it because it's less common? Or because there are less deaths associated with it? *It's estimated that 8 million Americans are suffering from an eating disorder today and only 1 of 10 will receive treatment. 20% will die due to complications with the disorder, but it's still so painfully hushed. I spoke with a friend that suffered from the same eating disorder I did and she disclosed that out of the people she knows, I was 1 of the 2 women who openly discussed their struggle. I thought about it for a while and realized, she's the only one who has openly discussed it with me. I know that there are many of you who have experienced disordered eating, but maybe you haven't felt like you can talk about it. Maybe you feel isolated. I know I did. I know my friend did too, but there are so many of us.

It is a heart wrenching roller coaster. It's a power struggle. It's a feeling of complete and utter unworthiness. *Most people that have an eating disorder also suffer from depression or PTSD. It's the same for alcoholics and drug addicts. My hope is that the more we talk about it, the less taboo it becomes. Women (and men) are embarrassed and terrified to open up to people about what they're going through. Maybe I'm being too bold here, but I would say, more so than people struggling with substance abuse. Another thing we neglect to address is that the damage to the body is just as bad, if not worse (in some cases) than someone who is over their head in addiction.

We all develop coping mechanisms. Sometimes they're good for us, a lot of times they're bad for us. I was watching an episode of Intervention a couple of weeks ago and they had trauma/grief counselor attending the intervention. The woman was addicted to an illicit substance, and had become so after an extreme trauma. The details aren't important here, but one thing the trauma counselor said really resounded in me it went something like this: "In a time of enormous grief, you were faced with an impossible decision. Developing an addiction was the responsible choice, because the other option was to kill yourself." I know some of you would argue that there are a lot of other choices and blah, blah, blah, but for those of us that don't have a suffocating support system, we have to find a way to COPE. Even those people that do have the support system, sometimes it doesn't help. I do not condone any of the aforementioned coping mechanisms, but I acknowledge that they exist. I also acknowledge that when they're ready, people need help developing healthier coping mechanisms and kicking the damaging ones to the curb.

We are all human beings, with skeletons in our closets, but keeping them there doesn't make them go away. Every time you open that closet door you're terrified all over again. Struggling doesn't make you weak. Really, at the end of the road, it makes you stronger.

The point of all of this, is that we must keep our minds open to things we don't understand. Shelf the judgement. Allow people be broken without shame. Forget your personal agenda and listen. Then, and only then, can the healing process begin.

There's my soap box for the day, and also a great representation of why I am going to be a therapist in the not so distant future.

If you are struggling with an addiction, depression or and eating disorder there are support groups and many who are ready and willing to help. Please feel free to email me or message me on Facebook and I would be happy to direct you and join your support system.

*Eating disorder statistics taken from the CDC, can be found at http://www.cdc.gov/family/college/